Recap of "Happily Ever After" Recap

Someone told me this blog would be better if I added pictures

like in other people's recaps, so here you go.

They might be the most chilling words in all of Doc Jensen lore: "We could wonder if the looking glasses really are remote viewing devices, or windows into parallel worlds, or (my theory) magic mirrors that conjure metaphorical representations of the heart state of the Numbered candidates who gaze into the glass."

Luckily, those words were not included in this week's Doc Jensen recap, entitled "The End Begins Now." What was included was 11 pages of time-bending, dimension-swapping, head-exploding recapping as only Doc can provide (I was going to end that sentence with "head-exploding bullshit," but it read too mean).

I've gotta say, it's great to see that Doc is still keeping up the intensity even after nearly 6 seasons, and close to 1.5 million synonyms alone.

He does appear to be getting hungry, though.

It's obvious from the start that Doc felt a lot of vigor about this episode. He thinks it should be in the "Best Ever Episode" conversation, which is kind of like when I finally felt a girl's boob after a year-long drought in college and decided she was one of the "hottest girls in school." He says it's because this is the episode (and the answers) that he's been waiting for all year. I guess. He also thinks Mrs. Widmore's brooch is faaab-ulousss!

Moving right along, Doc decided to do his best Billy Mays impression and try to sell his brand-new "Doc Jensen At Home Theory Making Kit," which I personally feel is missing a few much-needed-hyphens. This kind of shameless shilling is really surprising coming from Doc, although the intellectual masturbation is perfectly expected.

Lube not included.

I think the biggest thing we need to discuss from this week's column is the controversy. You know Doc-- always causing trouble and offending us with his ramblings about a fictional show owned by Disney. He really put his foot in his mouth and theorized that all of the characters on the island will spiritually transmigrate through to the Sideways world by the end of the show. Ha! How could you say something so preposterously ridiculous, Doc?! Please stick to your normal M.O. of careful, empirical explanations of Lost, free of hyperbole.

Buy a link here.

Personally, I prefer my friend Andrew's theory that, since the Sideways characters have echoes and flashes of truth whenever they look at their own reflections, all of them just need to get haircuts before the end of the season.

Well, that's gonna be it for this week's recap. Your homework for next week: Reread Doc's recaps of "Numbers" and "Everybody Hates Hugo." Also next week: the premiere of our brand new companion series, Totally Doc Jensen. Tell your friends! (And feel free to keep the Doc discussion going by hitting me up on Twitter! @DocJensenRecap)